Boundaries with people

Arthurs Seat and the boundary of it against the sky.  

 

One of the hardest things Ive found these years has been living back with my parents (having lived away for many years). 

It all began in Summer in 2018 when I had beenn living in Edinburgh and Scotland in general for 5 years. My rented flat with views to Arthurs Seat was in itself a synchronous event but I was essentially flat sitting until it got sold. It was sold during the summer 2018 just as Edinburgh festival was due to take place so finding another flat was quite tricky - I didnt want to return to London per se but I felt a pull to return back to my parents house (which I was also dreading!). I was already doing a bit of 'stuff clearing' of my belongings whenever I visited but felt I needed to do a massive clearing - little did I realise that it would involve many layers of energy clearing, family triggers massive and essentially putting me amongst a very intense space. 

Setting boundaries has also come up as a continuous theme since being here at home. Maybe this is with many parents, but my parents forget that I have lived away and lived many experiences and also in their eyes still see me as a child! It can be really frustrating and annoying to say the least. 

Setting boundaries with our parents as adults is essential. As we age and have our own children, our parents may still feel they need to try and help and give criticism and suggestions, even without solicitation. We must allow our parents to recognize us for who we are as adults, not who we were as children. (from: Choosing Therapy dot com)

Some things I had to do: 

- enabling energy shielding daily (I only really put this into my daily routine over the past year though I was doing other forms of meditation in the morning - I use a  12D SHIELDING MEDITATION 1 from YT which has amazing soundscape.

 - Clearing my energy through daily nature walks (tho I live in a very dense urban space); sage clearing; burning incense; using crystal energy; playing hi vibration music in the background particularly in the kitchen and evening meditation

 - Saying no to certain things and being more open about things that dont resonate eg I constantly have to tell my mum when shes speaking on loud speaker to go to another room as the noise really affects me. She does it now automatically which is good! 

- Saying your needs and requirements though to them they think it's weird. Eg my parents buy all their food from local supermarkets whilst these months Ive been extra vigilant about getting veg/meat/dairy regularly from an Organic box scheme. 

- Getting space in general 

Any many many other things which are still WIP! One thing that came up for me this morning is Stillness, no fear and that Im safe tho the environs are challenging in addition to this ache in my teeth/neck. 

Finding serenity amongst the craziness

It isn't easy establishing boundaries and can cause a LOT of conflict as parents are used to seeing you through a particular lens of perception or what they want to see. As a result it can be very stressful and impact your body and health and mind!! There are things which they'll never get and you have to accept that eg they will never fully understand my journey as a 'starseed/lightworker/indigo' or just generally on my spirit led path. It's difficult and you'd like to share things on the one hand but is that a bit of you underneath that needs the parental validation to make it ok/real?! 

There was this saying that 'the quickest road to englightenment is to live back with your parents' - they're not wrong 😂. It's a trigger fest playground massive with rollercoasters to boot. Its certainly not for the faint hearted and I certainly wouldn't relive the past 4.5 years again (Im still here at my parents home) but on a plus note, it draws out all the shadows that need awareness/transmuting and really brings that contrast as to what you really really want and honing in on it as well as stripping back all the shit to bring you back to your core authentic self.